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In which I hopefully start to do something.

Journal Entry: Wed Jun 6, 2012, 5:58 PM
Ever since I discovered AMVs (anime music videos) in 2008, I have wanted to make one. Two. As many as I could. Like everything else I do I didn't just want to make AMVs, I wanted to create masterpieces. I still do.

Many things have held me back in my life. Fears, doubts, lack of empowered thought.

It sounds silly to some people, but this is something I want to do. I want to be myself. I don't want to be a cookie-cutter Christian for my family, an awkward sister for my friends, and a puppet for my parents. I want to be Nina. That curious girl that always has her nose stuck in a book. Nina spends copious amounts of time online. Nina will learn Japanese. Nina likes dresses that go to her knees. Nina loves anime, which can contain language, be violent and gory, but is much more entertaining and deeper than any American serial she has ever seen. She listens to metal, techno, world, international, foreign, and rarely domestic music. She will dress as a boy when she goes to her next convention.

No, Nina is not like the other young women her parents may know. Yes, Nina knows much, much more than she lets her family know.

And no matter what they think, Nina is Nina, and she won't change on the whims of others. It doesn't matter if they believe that they have her best interests in mind. Nina knows what's good for Nina.

That's why I have to do this. I want to do something that is completely me. I have spent my whole life ashamed of who I am. I have poor self-esteem and I've finally had the chance to step back and realize that. I need to change. I need to start now, not tomorrow. I've had enough of procrastination.

Therefore I set out on this journey of self-discovery. I am getting a new wardrobe and decor. I will exercise and eat healthy. I will do what I love. I have changed and come a long way from what I was a few years ago. Not all of it was for the good, but I can either let the circumstances beat me down or use them to become better.

Laying in a bed to recover leaves one a lot of time to think. Despite other sentiments, this chapter of my life may have been the best thing to happen to me. I have met more caring people in the past three years than I thought could possibly exist. I used to be a lukewarm neutral party, full of apathy and self-pity. I have made actual decisions now. I know where I stand in many issues.

And I know where I stand in the issue of me.

Someone important to me dared me to change. He stayed by my side when not even my parents knew what to do. He watched me cause myself pain from the day he met me. All I can say to him now is: "I hope to do you proud."

  • Mood: Content
  • Listening to: "Coloris" by She
  • Reading: The computer screen
  • Playing: With the keys

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WarriorLoverInc
Nina
Artist | Hobbyist | Literature
United States
^ I was so cute when I was little! XD ^

:bulletred:I can't draw! (ulg)
:bulletred:I write poetry.
:bulletred:I REALLLLLLYY love to write stories. :D
:bulletred:I LUV CATS!!! :meow:

Good short story tips here.

Name: Burningash [Not Burnin-Gash, Burning-Ash]
Gender: Female
Background History: Born into a family of three, my sisters and brothers are: Greenleaf the she-cat, Hollowcry the she-cat, and Badgertail the tom-cat. My mother is Cedarclaw and my father is Hollowingtail.
Clan: HollowClan
Rank: Senior Warrior
Description: A calico she-cat with dark green eyes and black and orange-ish splats on a white coat. Her ears are long for a cat, and the ends are slightly frayed. She may act like she doesn't like you, but thats just her own special way of acting worried. Strong willed and lithe, you don't want to meet this warrior in battle. My clan: warriors-untoldtales.deviantar…
+ For Warriors-UntoldTales

Writers have the oddest problems that no normal person would understand. ~Stolen from VMSkullz

Thank you Junryou-na-Kokoroaway for my Avatar!

Current Residence: Minnesota, USA
deviantWEAR sizing preference: Adult Large
Favourite genre of music: Metal, rock
Favourite style of art: Digital and sketchy
MP3 player of choice: Sony Phillips Pink v2
Favourite cartoon character: Alex Rider
Personal Quote: "Failing's not falling down, it's staying down when your hit."
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junawashere Featured By Owner Sep 9, 2013  Professional Digital Artist
thanks for the fav!!!! <33333
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Thanks for the :+fav: .

En Taro Adun
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Thanks for the :iconfav3dplz: on Rise of Tsubasa :la:
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Happy birthday. :cake:
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Thanks for the fave! :la:
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khimmiem Featured By Owner Feb 25, 2013  Student Digital Artist
thank you for faving my Jack Frost: Winter Knight~! :iconrubcheeksplz:
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nou-e Featured By Owner Dec 30, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you for watching me.
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Thanks for the fave ^^
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:aww: Thanks a lot for the fav! :heart:
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